Sean Lovett

The Spice Girls And Me (I Regret Nothing!)

2009-01-16T11:14:00.001-08:00

A good friend of mine recently felt the need to remind me of a previous transgression (because that's what friends are for, right?)that involved him, myself, and the Spice Girls.

This took place back in the summer of '97 in the 7th circle of hell, otherwise known as Utah. Now, the exact details are a little bit fuzzy as time and alcohol tend to wreak havoc on such things. However, the gist of what transpired is still intact.

For reasons long since forgotten, on this fateful day my friend and I were driving around looking for something to do. Actually, he was driving because I was working my way into a drunken stupor. Somehow, we ended up at the movie theatre. I think the deciding factor on this was due to the theatre being air conditioned.

If I remember correctly, the movie that we wanted to see was sold out. Now, this part, to me at least, is debatable. I am told that it was my idea to instead see the Spice Girls movie. I do not recall this, but, again, I was pleasantly drunk. Also, I don't see how I can be completely to blame here. My friend, who was sober, could have stopped this anytime. But, no. He was right there with me.

As we walked into the theatre there was only a handful of people in there. Unfortunately, it was a bunch of preteen girls with their mothers. I can only imagine what they were thinking when they watched two 19-20 year old men walk into the theatre and sit down to watch the same movie as them. I guessing it was probably "Pedophiles!"

But, that's the great thing about being drunk, I didn't give a shit. Now, I don't remember anything about this movie except for one thing: no titties. I sat there and put up with this shit for 90 minutes and not even one titty popped out. What kind of bullshit is that?!

I decided to express my displeasure with the lack of boobage by throwing my half empty 32oz. mix of Dr. Pepper and vodka right at the screen. Apparently, that was the last straw for some parent. They had dealt with us talking loudly and making fun of the movie the whole time, but they would be damned if they were going to sit there and have their child see Baby Spice looking like she just took the money shot all over her face as my drink ran down the screen.

I don't recall much after that except that the usher did come over and we were, more or less, thrown out. It didn't really matter since the movie was pretty much over anyway. That was the beginning and end of anything I ever had to do with the Spice Girls. Oh, and if any of the Spice Girls ever happen to read this, (yeah, right. I know.) I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I want to see some titties, dammit! You know damn well every last one of you hoes has no talent except for when it comes to being naked and lately, some of you don't even have that anymore. Posh, I'm looking at you.

Venting Frustrations

2009-01-09T11:52:00.001-08:00

This post is going to be nothing, but me bitching. So, enjoy or skip, your call.

1. To the inbred hick in the Ford pickup, who saw me coming down the road at 45 mph, but still decided to pull out into the far lane (the lane I was in) and cut me off so that I had to slam on my brakes, when there was no one in the right lane and you could have pulled out just fine there and then you flip me off as if I'm the one in the wrong: Fuck you, die slow! Oh, and if I see you again, I'm stabbing you in the face!

2. To the idiot gas station attendant who couldn't put my gas cap back on correctly, so now I have to drive around for a couple of days with my check engine light on: you also get a face stabbing.

3. To the assfuck doing 45 in the fast lane on the freeway until you saw me pass and try to get over so you decided to speed up to block me: I hope you get raped in the face!

4. To all the people who call me on a daily basis and want to treat me like all of their problems are my fault and totally ignore the fact that I am there to help them and want to treat me like shit because they don't get the answer they want: All of you should die in a fire.

5. To all the members of the GOP who are still whining cause they lost after 8 years of completely fucking shit up: Eat a bag of dicks.

6. To all the non-smoking fucktards who see me smoking a cigarette and go out of their way to walk past me so that they can cough loudly in order to fulfill some self-righteous purpose: My foot up your ass, let me show it to you

7. To the bartender who stops serving drinks 20 minutes before last call because you want to leave a little earlier: Fuck you in your eye socket.

I'm sure there are plenty more, but I can't remember them right now. However, it does feel good to get that little bit out.

Celebrate Christmas? You're Going To Hell!

2008-12-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

Once again, the Westboro Baptist church has decided to share its special brand of crazy/retarded (yes, I used the "r" word. Get over it.)

In a move that only serves to further prove how "special" they are, they have asked the Governor of Washington to allow their religious (Christmas) message to be among those included in the state capitol building. Anyone wanna guess what their message is? I'll give you a hint, it has to do with Santa.

They want to put up a sign with the message: "Santa Claus will take you to hell."

Yes, you read that correctly. In the 30 years that I have been alive, I have never heard any religious fanatic (read:nut) say anything like this before. No mention of Santa being the great Satan and, I don't know, Rudolph being some devil hound, maybe Frosty is some upper level demon sent to posses kids or whatever the fuck goes on in the minds of those that are this detached from reality.

They even went so far as to change the lyrics to a familiar tune. Personally, I would have gone with AC/DC's "Hells Bells". It seems fitting. Just a few tweaks, something like this:

I won't leave no presents, don't care who cries
Nobodys gettin' shit tonight
I got my bell, I'm gonna take you to hell
I'm gonna get you, Santa get you

But no, they decided to bastardize "Santa Claus is coming to town". Here's their version:

You'd better watch out, get ready to cry, You'd better go hide, I'm telling you why 'cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell. He is your favorite idol, you worship at his feet, but when you stand before your God He won't help you take the heat. So get this fact straight: you're feeling God's hate, Santa's to blame for the economy's fate, Santa Claus will take you to hell.

Yep.

Who knew that Santa was really in league with Satan all this time? I suppose this means that all things Christmas related, except for Jesus, of course, are devil spawn as well. Maybe next we'll find out that sugarplums are really Satan's butt-plugs. Never underestimate the depravity of severely irrational and/or delusional people on a mission.

Here's the link to the full story: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008493934_webchurch10.html

And, if you're interested, here is the link to the Westboro Baptist Church's site: http://www.godhatesfags.com/

Yes, that really is the URL of their site, I'm not joking.

This Past Weekend

2008-07-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

I had a good friend, named Mike, come and visit this past weekend. The drinking started around 11am friday morning and continued until about 3pm yesterday. I'm going to keep this somewhat short and just go over the highlights of the weekend.

This is Mike:

Friday:
Picked up him from the airport at 10:30am and immediately headed to the bars. Hit 3 bars, picked up a keg, and headed to a party with over 120 jello shots. Partied and passed out.

Saturday:
Woke up at the house the party was at. Headed home. Showered, changed clothes, went to the Highland Games.

Drank a lot of beer. Watched the caber toss.

Mike and I (Irish and Scottish) get drunk, get choked up and almost cry like bitches when the bagpipers start playing Amazing Grace.

Saturday Evening:

Get invited to a bar by my neighbor and some of his friends. Get even more drunk at the bar. Fight breaks out at the table next to us. Bouncers grab the fools and throw them out. Our group decided to leave and go to a strip. Get the strip club, drink more. Mike gets a little loud with the strippers. Saying things like "Yeah, that's hot! Oh, baby! Shake that ass, girl!"

Apparently, one of the strippers didn't like it. She complained to the bouncers. Our whole group was cutoff. We were told it was because Mike was drunk. We argue with the bouncers. We get thrown out. The fuck yous fly and a bottle gets broken on the building outside. Bouncers come running out with tasers. Threaten to taser us until they're reminded of the cameras watching everything. They call the police. We bounce.

Sunday:

Looking for a little more mellow time, we go to the beach.

Get some beers and get drunk on the beach. Head home. Hang out with the neighbors at home and continue to get drunk.

Monday:

Stop for lunch before taking mike to the airport. Drink some more. Get Mike to the airport. Go home and pass out. Wake up a while later with my liver laying next to me saying "Fuck. You."

Here are some bonus pics that my drunk ass took in the car while trying to figure out how to work the camera.

Yeah, it was a great weekend.

The Man Dance

2008-07-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

What happens when you take clips from the old cartoon "The Superfriends" and edit it with the dialogue from a scene in the movie "The Way Of The Gun"? Pure Awesomeness!

This clip contains VERY graphic adult language. So, if you're at work and don't have headphones, or if you're someone who gets all sorts of butthurt about "foul language" then don't watch this.

The Reality Of Religion

2008-07-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

That's right, I'm back, bitches!

Now, let's get down to it.

I read something today that got my nuts all twisted. It reiterated what I believe while, at the same time, pissing me off.

I read an article, which I will post a link to at the end of this, in which a minister disguises himself as a "bum"(my word, not theirs) and describes the reaction of his congregation towards him while he was in disguise.

If any of you guessed that his congregation was "christ like" and offered any sort of assistance or kind words to him; sit down, you've failed. Instead. they offered the typical response of ignoring him or, even going so far as to "tell him off".

Why do I say typical? Because, due to my experiences, this is typical, especially of so-called "Christians". These people, not just the ones in the article, but a majority, are so hypocritical that it makes me sick.

"oh, Sean it's not fair to label all like this". I'm not. I don't have to. If you are one of the hypocrites that I speak of then chances are that you are the one who will be most offended by what I'm saying. You usually are.

My point is that this brings me full circle. People ask me what I believe and I have enough sense to tell them that I don't know. I believe in A god of some sort, but I do not believe in religion. I believe that religion is a man-made concept that deludes and desecrates the purity of a spiritual journey that one can, and should, take for themselves.

To me, religion is nothing more than a form of mind control. A tool to scare the masses and make them controllable. If you study religion, especially christianity, you will see how it contradicts itself.

Now, do not get me wrong. I am not saying that I am so much better than these people. However, the difference is that I will tell you the truth when I do not treat someone who is down and out with the compassion that I should, whereas these assfucks are usually the first to remind you of how Christ would have behaved, but when it comes time for them to follow in those footsteps they can't be bothered. Do as they say, not as they do. That's their holier-than-thou, hypocritical, selfrighteous, sanctimonious, bullshit...when you get right down to it.

Fuck these people. And, fuck anyone who behaves like them. They are the problem, not the solution and they always have been.

To follow blindly is no way to follow at all. Never be afraid to ask questions because it is the one that you don't ask that is the most important.

These are not some ancient words of wisdom that I am ripping off from someone else. These are my true feelings and how I strive to live my life.

The link to the article:

read about it here

This Video Is Great!

2008-06-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

This is some of the funniest shit that I've seen in a long time:

It Finally Happened

2008-06-02T23:11:00.001-07:00

So, I'm coming home from the grocery store. I get stuck behind this person who feels it is their civic duty to do 35 in a 45 because it had been raining.

Well, I'm not havin' it. So, I go around them. Of course, this triggered their douchebag gene and they sped up. Nice try Summer's Eve, but my car can do 60 in 3rd gear, and it's just warming up. That's right. You can take your little Dodge Neon and park it somewhere while you dream about The Fast And The Furious 4: Whitetrash Drift.

So, I pass this failed experiment at life and turn onto my street. No sooner had I turned onto my street and I was lit up. A cop in his Chevy SUV was behind me and he had his sex lights on. I call them sex lights because whenever you see them you know somebody's gettin' fucked.

So, I pull out the driver's license and the insurance card and hand it to the cop. 5 minutes passed, he still hasn't come back. 10 minutes passed and now some other cop is at my window asking me if I had had anything to drink.

What?! No, surprisingly, I hadn't. I tell him this and he asks if I am sure. I respond affirmative and he asks me "What about Peppermint Schnapps?" What?

Turns out they thought I had been drinking because I was chewing some Dentyne Ice gum and they could smell it. Obviously, my word wasn't good enough because they pulled me out of the car; talkin' some mess about a field sobriety test.

There I was, on the side of the road, lookin' like an episode of Cops. They had me walkin' the line, sayin' the ABC's, and, last, but not least, followin' his finger without moving my head while his flashlight was all in my eyes.

Unsurprisingly, I passed all of their tests. They seemed disappointed and told me to go back and wait in my car. 5 minutes later, the original cop returned with my parting gift, a 145 dollar ticket for doing 60 in a 45.

Thanks for playing, Sean. Thanks for playing.

It's Over

2008-05-30T01:24:00.000-07:00

If I ramble, please forgive me. It's after 1am pst, which means that it is now May 30th. I am a bit drunk and I've spent the last couple of hours with a stripper named Becky and her snatch all in my face.

I will do the best that I can to make this coherent even though Hennessey and Gin and micro brewed beers are currently racing through my veins.

It's May 30th. Just another day for everyone, right? Not for me. It's my birthday. God has seen fit to grant me one more year on this earth. But, it's over. As of now, my 20's are over. I am now 30 years old. I can't even comprehend this. For so long it appeared that I wouldn't live to see this age. But, here I am. Where did the time go? Where did my childhood go?

30 years old. Thank you, God. Thank you for letting me have one more year.

It's Coming Back Around Again

2008-05-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

It really is true that history repeats itself. A perfect example of this is to listen to the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. (in the video below) and see just how well they fit with what is happening today.

And Now, A Little Something For NIN Fans

2008-05-11T02:16:00.000-07:00

Here's a rare short interview with Trent Reznor before he created Nine Inch Nails. Enjoy.

Sexual Embarrassments

2008-05-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, sex isn't so natural and can lead to some embarrassing situations. Here are some examples:

I call the first one "Sex is Violent":

Our next one I've entitled "Knocked Her Ass Out!"

I realize the text is rather small, so I've type it out here in case you have any problems reading it.

"A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her faint with pleasure. The kinky 33-year-old housewife was wearing a pair of battery-operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop, while she did her shopping, according to the British tabloid The Sun.

But she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that she lost consciousness. She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket in Swansea, Wales. When the paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation leather knickers still buzzing.

They took them off before an ambulance took her to hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private, suffered no long-lasting ill-effects. And as she left the hospital, a paramedic gave her back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag. A spokesperson for the Asda supermarket chain told The Sun: "We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already."

This last one I simply call "Shrinkage":

How To Date A Female Coworker

2008-04-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

I came across an article today entitled "5 Ways to Date a Woman in the Workplace". I'm not going to talk about what the article listed. Instead, I'm going to offer my own list for dating in the workplace.

It's much shorter and more to the point. Here it is, my list on how to date a coworker:

1. DON'T

That's it.

Yep, it's that easy. As you can no doubt see, anyone can do this. Now, I'm sure some of you out there may be saying "But Sean, there's this insanely hot blonde chick in my accounting department. I bet I could totally hit that. Probably multiple times." (side note: for some reason, insanely hot chicks usually work in the accounting department)

Sure, you could probably hit it, maybe even multiple times. Then what? Think you can just "hit it n' quit it"? Nope. Sorry. Your dumbass decided to stick your pen in the company inkwell. Now you're stuck with it. Oh sure, you could be El Douchebag Deluxe about the whole thing and kick her to the curb when you're finished. But, don't forget, you work with her.

This means that you will have to continue to see her as long as the two of you work for the same company. It also means that she will tell all the girls she works with what you did. From then on you will be known as "The Asshole" with the "tiny dick". Yes, tiny dick. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. That is the wrath that you have brought upon yourself.

But, it doesn't end there. Oh, no. See, girls have friends outside of work and you better believe that your douchebaggery will be a topic of discussion during their coven meetings. This will effectively neutralize your "hunting" zone for 20 square miles. At this point, you might as well find a new job in a new city.

I'm sure there are probably guys out there who would actually like to start a relationship with a coworker. The answer is still DON'T. Let's take a look at why this would be a bad idea.

You ask out that hot blonde with the awesome rack in accounting. You find out that she's got more going for her than just her rockin' body. You got out a few more times and a few more and a few more. Before you know it, this has turned into a serious relationship. This is what you wanted, right? Wrong.

Little by little, she covertly moves into your place. First it's a toothbrush, a little makeup, then some clothes, a couple of pairs of shoes, then some more shoes, and some more shoes, and even more shoes. By the time she has managed to bring over the last of her 1400 pairs of shoes it's too late.

Now, you see this person at home, on the way to work (you know you'd commute together), at work, on the way home from work, at home after work. You wake up, there they are. You come back from the bathroom - surprise! - they're still there.

This might sound cool because you're busy thinking about that rockin' body and sex whenever you want and it's gonna be so awesome!!! Nope. Sorry, homie. In fact, you'll probably be having less sex. Why? Because she'll get sick of looking you too. Now, you live and work with someone you don't want to be around and they don't want to be around you either. So, you break up. Once again, you become known as "The Asshole". Yes, it's unavoidable. If you're a grown man and you've never had a woman call you an asshole then you've failed at being a man. It's sort of like a right of passage.

Now, if you want to avoid being the asshole at work just remember this saying - "Don't stick your pen in the company inkwell." It really is that simple.

Nothing Going On

2008-04-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything. Sorry, but I've been busy. Plus, I haven't really seen or read anything that I felt was worth posting about. So, basically, ain't shit goin' on, but the rent.

However, I did come across some funny pictures. Enjoy...

Fox News Defines The "Donkey Punch"

2008-04-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

I can't believe this was on Fox News. Then again, it is Fox News so I really shouldn't be surprised.

Oh God, If Only!

2008-04-15T08:54:00.001-07:00

A reporter recently asked Obama this:

"...whether an Obama administration would seek to prosecute officials of a former Bush administration on the revelations that they greenlighted torture, or for other potential crimes that took place in the White House?"

Obama's response:

"What I would want to do is to have my Justice Department and my Attorney General immediately review the information that's already there and to find out are there inquiries that need to be pursued..."

Now, I know better than to get my hopes up about ever seeing this happen, but one can dream.

Full story, here

The Highland Games

2008-04-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

It's almost here! I went to my first one last year. I had been to other games/festivals in Utah. They were ok, tiny. But this one was awesome! It was huge. Beer tents everywhere! That's always a plus. There are cool, little, souvenir tents sprinkled around, and, surprisingly, good food too. Plus, the games. There's nothing like watching some guy try to pick up and throw a telephone pole end-over-end.

Also, I got drunk enough last year to try Haggis. Actually, it was some knock off of actual Haggis since the FDA won't allow the real stuff into America. It wasn't bad, kind of bland. It tasted pretty much like corn beef hash. They had a few different kinds too. Beef, lamb, and vegetarian. I still haven't figured out how they made Haggis (or their version of it) vegetarian. The only draw back was that they were trying to sell cans of this stuff for 27 bucks a can. Yeah, even I wasn't that drunk.

Let's not forget about the bagpipes. Normally, bagpipes can be very annoying. However, under the right circumstances and when people actually know how to play them, they are awesome. The Portland Highland Games are the right circumstances.

To learn more about the highland games, click here

An Early Morning Encounter With A Paranoid Delusional

2008-04-09T04:55:00.000-07:00

I like to get to work a little early. I do this so that I can make some coffee and have a couple of cigarettes while enjoying my coffee before I have to get to work. I mean, who actually shows up for work and gets started right away?

This morning was no different. After I had made the coffee, I headed outside for a smoke. I was standing there enjoying the peace and quiet (it was 4:30 in the morning)and my cigarette, between sips of coffee, when I saw him.

Shit. He's looking right at me. I knew exactly how this was going to play out before he crossed the street and headed over to me. I checked my pack of cigarettes. Only 3 left.

"Say, brother. Can I get a smoke from ya?"

Well, just call me Sylvia Brown. How'd I know?

"Sure."

"Thanks, brother."

At this point, I figured he would be on his way. That's how these things usually go. Not this time. Instead, he took this as his cue to unleash the crazy on me.

"Are you black?"

"What?"

"Are you a black man?"

You've all seen my picture. I'm of Irish and Scottish descent. I'm about as white as they come.

"No."

"Do you think we should kiss his ass just because he's a black man?"

I looked around to confirm. Yep, we were the only two people there.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, man."

With that he turned and walked away. Unfortunately, he only made it about 4 steps before turning around and coming back.

"You're wearing a gray coat. Are you a gray?"

First, my coat isn't grey. Second, is he talking about aliens?

"And you've got on a Chicago Cubs hat."

It's actually a Colbert Report hat, but I decided to keep that to myself.

"Would you fight and die for your country? If you had to, would you?"

"Yes, I would."

"Don't think you're better than me just because you've been to war."

Hmm? Ok, I don't recall having told him that I had been in a war.

"I fight wars too. But, I didn't have to go off to some foreign land to do it. I do it every day in this country, this state, this city."

"....." At this point, I figured if I didn't say anything maybe he would take his rant somewhere else.

"I built it!"

"....."

"I built this city!"

Let me guess, on rock 'n' roll?

"Does it make you better than me that you have a job paying 20 or 30 dollars an hour, a place to live, and a family that cares about you?"

"No." The tone in my voice was frustrated. I was hoping to give him the hint that I was growing tired of his bullshit.

"You think about this country, man. You think about it and ask yourself if you really want to keep living here."

"....."

"I don't want to live here anymore and I built the place!"

Yes, on rock 'n' roll. I know.

"Thanks for the smoke, man. Bye."

"Yep."

Peace out, dude. Peace out, indeed.

With that, he turned and walked away. But, of course, he turned back around to yell something else at me. I ignored him. He did this no less than 5 times until he was out of sight.

Just another typical day in downtown Portland.

King

2008-04-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching a documentary on the History channel called "King". It was about Martin Luther King Jr.

It was a wonderful documentary that delved not only into King's involvement and leadership of the civil rights movement, but also his personal life.

It even talked about J. Edgar Hoover's involvement in trying to bring King down and destroy everything that he had worked so hard for, even his family. It also showed that, towards the end, King may have known or felt that he was going to die.

Through this documentary, I found out that when King took a stand against the war in Vietnam, a lot of his supporters turned their backs on him, including the NAACP.

It also pointed out that although he made great strides, his work is not done and must continue on. And, it must.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is a true American hero and his assassination was a tragedy. I can't help but wonder what more he could have been able to accomplish if intolerance, ignorance, and hate had not stolen him away, as it has so many other great people and things.

This documentary was wonderful and I highly recommend watching it if you get the chance. I'm sure the History channel with be replaying it.

Bitches Better Have My Money

2008-04-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

Oregon has a weird state income tax law. Sometimes we get what's called a "kicker" check. Oregon's one-of-a-kind "kicker" law calls for refunds to be kicked back to individual taxpayers when state tax collections are more than 2 percent above projections.

At the end of 2007, I was supposed to get a kicker check. I didn't. In fact, a lot of people didn't. It was all over the news because the IRS did what they do best, fuck shit up. There was information on what happened and how to get your check, etc. I attempted to follow this mess and was rewarded with a website that had broken links and hard to follow instructions. Finally, I gave up.

That was back in November. However, after speaking with my mother tonite, I found out that they fixed the site and have made it extremely easy to find out if you have a check waiting for you. That's right, the government actually got off their asses and fixed something.

I went to the site. I clicked on the link that read "do we owe you money?" and reviewed the list of names. There it was, in beautiful black and white; Dustin Sean Lovett.

HA HA Bitches! Pay up!

Now, all I have to do is fill out a form, print it out and mail it to them and I will get my money. But, they still manage to get that last jab in as I found out when I read their disclaimer: "Please allow 30 to 90 days for a response." You motherf...

EDIT: Here is a link to the Oregon Dept. of Revenue where you can find out if you have a check waiting for you. Their list is in PDF format, so you'll need Adobe Reader if you don't already have it.

You're Doing It Wrong

2008-04-04T07:56:00.001-07:00

Here are a few news stories that fall into the "You're doing it wrong" (aka: Dumbass) category.

First up is the story of a would be female bank robber. A woman in Michigan attempted to rob a bank after filling out a form and putting her real address on it and leaving her photo ID. As you can imagine, she wasn't hard to find. "Excuse me, miss. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!"

Full story here

Next, we have an anti-violence rally at a Chicago high school that was disrupted by...wait for it...violence. The rally was to protest recent violence between black and latino students. The rally began as school was being let out for the day. As the students were leaving, the expected happened. Several small fights broke out among the students and the rally was over. Excuse me, everyone. Maybe holding an anti-violence rally in a location where tensions between to groups of people are already running high isn't the best idea. How about a little more planning next time so that you won't be doing it wrong?

Full story here

Finally, we have a man from Boulder. He crashed a memorial service. But, he didn't just crash it. This wasn't like the scene from Clerks where they come running out of the funeral home because Randall knocked over the caskett. Oh, no. He had his own style.

He started off with putting his arm around the teenaged sister of the deceased woman and grabbing her breast. For his next stunt, he pulled out his cell phone, went to the mother of the deceased woman, and showed her pornographic pictures. Um, dude...this is a memorial service. Yeah, you're definitely doing it wrong.

Full story, with mugshot goodness, here

Minivans

2008-04-03T06:02:00.001-07:00

This is something that I have been noticing a lot recently where I live. I've always had a theory about minivans, or more appropriately, those who drive them. However, I have mostly kept this theory to myself because I feel it would be unfair to group all drivers of minivans into my theory.

Unfortunately, each and every day, every time I drive to or from work, to the store, or just anywhere, my theory gets tested and it has yet to fail.

This is my theory and it's quite simple, so I think everyone can understand it.

Sean's Minivan Theory: There's always gotta be some asshole in a minivan fuckin' it up for everyone else.

Now, what exactly does that mean? Well, let's take a look.

The most common is the epic failure behind the wheel of the minivan who drives as if they are lost. They will typically drive at least 5-10 miles below the speed limit.

They are not lost. Oh, no. The reason they do this is because of their self righteous attitude. They are fully aware of the traffic that is building up behind them but they don't care because they have taken it upon themselves to enforce the speed limit. But, it's not the posted speed limit. It's the speed limit that they believe should be enforced.

This becomes obvious when you attempt to pass them in order to overtake them and they speed up to prevent you from doing so. Then, when you pull up next to them at a stop light, they look at you and give you a smug smile that you'd like to wipe off their face with a brillo pad.

Unfortunately for these assholes, their minivan will not beat my car in a race. I drive a BMW 328i. I am not bragging, I am stating a fact. So, when I pass and overtake them, they change the game up. Now, the speed limit no longer matters to them. Their focus is trained on me, or whoever was lucky enough to get around them. In order show their disdain for such actions, they decide tailgating is the best route to take.

I believe I may know why this is. I have noticed that most of the minivan drivers who act this way are men. This leads me to believe that they feel emasculated because they are stuck driving a minivan.

If this is the case, the minivan driver needs to realize something. It's not my fault, or anyone else on the road, that you're driving a minivan. This, most likely, occurred for one of two reason.

1. Your stupid ass honestly believed that the "pull and roll" method would work every time

or

2. You conscientiously made the decision to further pollute this planet by making one or more miniature versions of yourself.

Point being, it's your fault. Quit trying to take it out on the rest of us.

Naked In The Drive-Thru

2008-04-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

A Massachusetts man was recently arrested after deciding that going through the drive-thru of a Dunkin' Donuts while naked and touching himself was a good idea.

It gets better. He worked for the Department of Corrections. Usually, one would think that holding such a job would prevent this type of behavior. Obviously not.

The girl who was serving him noticed that he was naked and touching himself when she came to the window to bring him his coffee. She became upset and refused to serve him. See,now, if that had been me, or pretty much any of the women I have dated, I would have "accidentally" tripped and spilled his HOT coffee all over his crotch. And, because I'm sick and twisted like this, I would have laughed at him as he screamed. I might have even thrown in a comment too, something like "Guess you won't be pulling some shit like this anymore."

But, that's just me. Instead, the employees of the Dunkin' Donuts opted to get his license plate number and call the police. I guess that works too, but it isn't nearly as satisfying as scalding the balls of a pervert.

Read the story here

By Request

2008-03-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

Someone requested to hear this song. So, I put it here for them to listen to.

boomp3.com

Kind Of Makes My Head Hurt

2008-03-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

Normally, when it comes to religion, I just leave it alone. Unless I see or hear something that bothers me and I feel I need to say something or if someone wants to get in my face about it.

This is one of the times where I feel I need to say something, especially because children are involved. This has got to be one of the most irrational things I have ever witnessed. The video is a report that ABC news did. They followed two creationists as they took a group of children around a natural history museum and explained to the children why everything there is either wrong or just flat out not true.

I'm sorry, but I have to call bullshit when I see it and this is bullshit. In the words of Lewis Black, "These people watch The Flintstones as if it were a documentary....Whenever they start talking, I reach into my pocket for a fossil and go "Fossil", if they keep talking, I throw it just over their heads."

Pat Buchanan: Seriously Disturbed

2008-03-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

I can't find the words to describe just how thoroughly disgusted I am by this. So, I'm just going to post what he said and let you come up with the right words for just how messed up Pat is.

In a recent column, right-wing pundit Pat Buchanan attempted to argue that blacks benefited from slavery because they “grew into a community of 40 million” in the United States:

First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.

Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the ’60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream.

This was taken from here

Bicyclists In Portland

2008-03-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

For some time now, friends and I have been bitching about the bicyclists in Portland. Don't get me wrong, this isn't about not wanting to share the road. In Portland, we don't have a choice. It is illegal for them to ride on the sidewalks. That's why almost every street has a bike lane.

This is about the total lack of respect for and/or refusal to follow the basic traffic laws. Now, not all the bicyclists in Portland are like that. Some actually do follow the traffic laws because they understand that this will reduce their chances of becoming a hood ornament. To these bicyclists, I say thank you because, trust me, as strong as your desire is to not be laid out on the hood of my car, my desire to not have you on my car is even greater.

The problem is your counterparts. Those who don't believe that stop signs, traffic lights, or hand signals apply to them. These are the same assholes who have the nerve to be completely indignant when they ride through a red light or stop sign, into an intersection, and get smacked into the middle of next week.

Like I said at the beginning, my friends and I have been bitching about these idiots for some time now. But, I've never written about it. I just didn't feel the need to. What changed my mind were a couple of things I saw recently.

The first being my boss almost running over a guy on a bike. He was driving back from lunch and this soon to be stain in the street just rode his bike right out in front of him without even looking. Of course, my boss slammed on the brakes and the horn. I'm sure that I and anyone else, if placed in that situation, would have done the same. However, I have to wonder if him getting hit would have been a bad thing. Let me explain. I certainly don't want to kill or seriously injure anyone. But, some people need a little help learning things that are just basic common sense for the rest us. Maybe laying in the street and having his 2,000 dollar bike become a worthless piece of modern art would be a valuable lesson for that fool.

The second thing I saw was this headline from fark.com:

"Bicyclists were twice as likely as drivers to be at fault in collisions. Bike advocates say these statistics are skewed since their side of the story is usually unconscious and being hauled away on a stretcher"

If you aren't familiar with fark, the headline is submitted by a member of the site. It is intended to be humorous and it links to an actual article on the subject in the headline. I will link to the same article at the end of this post.

It reminded me of a time when I almost ran down 3 bicyclists at the same time (I wonder how many points that would have been worth). I was driving west on Irving, that little side street that ends on the north side of Benson High School. I had just passed the on-ramp for 84 eastbound. On my right, in the bike lane where they belong, are some bicyclists. They're rolling 4 deep, single file. A couple of them look back and see me approaching. For reasons I still can't comprehend, they decided this would be the perfect time to switch from single file to shoulder-to-shoulder. The back 3 dart out in front of me and completely block my lane. I had to slam on my brakes. I laid on the horn too. They had the nerve to look back at me like I was the asshole. Really? If I were the asshole in that situation I wouldn't have slammed on my brakes. I would have kept going and taught those 3 the Darwinian lesson they are bound to learn sonner or later.

To read the article concerning bicyclists being at fault for accidents, click here

Have You Seen My Keys?

2008-03-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

I've heard of some strange ways to beat a DUI, but never anything like this before. A woman, somewhere in the UK, attempted to beat the DUI wrap by telling police that she wasn't driving. Ok, so far everything is normal. But, not for long...

She decided to up the ante and hide her keys. Where did she hide them? In her vagina, of course! Yep, she decided the best hiding place for the incriminating evidence would be right up in the ol' hoo-ha.

Now, I do not have a vagina, which, by the way, is the same excuse I give as to why I do not watch Grey's Anatomy. However, I would imagine that objects, such as keys, being shoved up in the panocha wouldn't be comfortable. In fact, I doubt it would feel good at all.

Unfortunately, this woman's cunning plan was all for naught. After refusing to partake in the field sobriety test (yeah, that would probably only make it hurt worse)she decided to run off at the mouth and swear at the officers in front of her children. By the way, did I mention she had her kids with her? She really is working hard for the "Mother Of The Year" award.

The officers warned her twice about her language, but she continued on with it. I'm guessing it was because of the keys in the coochie. I mean, who wouldn't be swearing over something like that. So, they decided it was time for her to go down to the station.

Guess what they did with her when they got there. Strip search! I can just imagine the conversation that took place during the search:

"Ma'am, do you have a piercing...down there?"
"No."
"Then what's...you've got to be kidding me. Hey, I found the keys!"

Though it must have added insult to injury to get busted in such a way, I can only imagine that it was quite a relief to have the keys removed from that orifice.

Read the whole story here

Obama's Coming To Portland

2008-03-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I support Barack Obama. I've made donations to his campaign. I would love to see him and hear him speak in person and now I finally have the chance. Obama will be in Portland at the Memorial Coliseum on Friday, March 21st, at 9:30 am.

Will I be there? Nope. Why? Cause I'll be at work. Yep, my ass will be sitting at a desk, jockeying a phone, and putting up with whatever mental abuse callers wish to dish out instead of attending a speaking engagement that could prove to be uplifting and motivational.

Sonofabitch! Just to add insult to injury, The Memorial Coliseum is only about a mile, if that, from where I work.

Well, that's my problem, not yours. So, if you happen to be in the in the Portland area this Friday and would like to see Obama in person, click the link below to get a ticket. Don't worry, it's free.

For tickets to see Obama in Portland, click here

Bulgarian Idol Vs. The English Language

2008-03-17T15:24:00.000-07:00

I wonder if Mariah Carey has seen this. Watch as this woman butchers not only her song, but the English language as well

The Police Don't Always Need Every Detail

2008-03-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

Here is a perfect example of when it would be ok to leave out some details when speaking to the police:

Rush Limbaugh May Have Caused Voter Fraud

2008-03-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

Apparently, there were quite a number of crossover voters in Ohio. These Republicans decided to change party affiliation right before the primary and vote for Hillary Clinton because they believe she will be the easier candidate to defeat come November.

As for Rush Limbaugh's involvement, well he urged voters in Ohio and Texas to crossover in order to "rig" the election. Unfortunately for everyone involved, there have been a few not-so-bright Republicans posting on the internet about what they did.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem since it is legal for voters in these states to change party affiliation right before the primary. However, it becomes a problem when the voter who changes parties signs an affidavit declaring that they support the principles of the party they are changing to. If they sign this affidavit with the intention of voting for a different party in order to skew the election and do not actually believe in the principles of the party they are changing to, this is considered "election falsification". For anyone wondering, election falsification is a felony. Yes, a felony.

Oops.

Good job, Rush Limbaugh. Now, of course I am not entirely blaming him for this, but he still manages to hold onto quite a bit of influence, which, for the life of me, I cannot figure out how.

This could turn out to be a huge issue. Right now, they do not have exact numbers on how many voters may have done this, but they are investigating it.

To read the whole story, click here

Obama's Responds To Clinton's Offer Of VP

2008-03-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

This is a great video. Maybe the wins in Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island went to Hillary's head, although we all now know that it hasn't given her the lead she wanted/needed. It's only managed to drag this out even longer.

Watch Obama respond to Hillary's offer to make him vice president. Pretty funny.

Drugs In Your Water

2008-03-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

I know I've been off lately and not updating. I was sick, but am better now. So, on with the new post.

It was reported today that many major US cities have trace amounts of drugs in the water. This includes antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones.

They state that the amounts are tiny and should not be harmful. However, there could be some long term consequences.

Um, yeah. Maybe it's time to invest in water purification tablets.

To read the full story and see a map of the areas affected and what was found in the water, click here

Happy Holidays From American Idol

2008-03-05T18:27:00.000-08:00

I don't follow American Idol, mostly because I have better things to do with my time. So, I have no idea who this is. But, I am curious, is that really a guy?

Anyway, Danny Noriega, who I've learned is a contestant on American Idol, had this warm holiday greeting to share. Not safe for work language.

Hmm, wonder how much longer he'll be on the show, if he hasn't gotten kicked off already. Again, I don't watch the show.

It Seems Like Only Yesterday

2008-03-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

1996 was a good year for me. It was my senior year of high school, not that I really cared about school. I was working full time and still managed to go to school full time.

I know this is cliche, but I wish I could go back. I wish I could be that smartass kid that didn't have any cares or worries, not like I do now, again.

I pulled out my senior yearbook the other night. It doesn't really hit you how much time has passed until you actually go back and look.

My god! It's been a long time. There's been a lot of joy, a lot of sorrow, a lot of happiness, and a lot of heartache since then. I know I've grown spiritually, mentally, and emotionally since then. But, I would still like to go back for just one day and be this guy again:

The Sunday Bump 3

2008-03-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

Ouch....

The Sunday Bump 2

2008-03-02T15:20:00.000-08:00

Superbad gag reel. Not safe for work language.

The Sunday Bump 1

2008-03-02T15:18:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday. Nothing goin' on except for my hangover. So, enjoy these video entries.

For My Father's Memory Concld.

2008-03-02T04:53:00.000-08:00

I felt the storm surge as we pulled into the driveway. The anger and fear were rising up again. For a moment, while exiting the car, there was an uneasy silence. The house hadn't changed at all. Perhaps nothing had changed.

We talked for several hours that night. Nothing was off limits.

"I've missed you, son."

I could've said the same to him, but it would have been a lie and we both knew it. Instead, I opted for silence. The storm swelled.

"Why?! Why did you hit mom?! Why did you hit me?!"

He looked away. His answer wasn't forthcoming.

The sky cracked open. A torrential rain began to fall along with a driving, howling wind.

"God damn it! Tell me! Tell me why you beat us! You owe me at least that much!"

He turned his gaze back toward me. I expected to see rage and hate in his eyes; that was the man I knew, or rather had been told about. It wasn't there. What I saw was pain, so much pain.

He spoke, his voice cracking as he choked back tears.

"Son, I've done a lot of bad things in my life, things I wish I could undo. But, what you need to understand is that what people remember and what the truth is are not always the same thing."

The rain let up and the wind stopped, for the moment.

"what do you mean?"

"I did put my hands on your mother. She put her hands on me too and it wasn't to defend herself. That doesn't make it right, but that's how it was. We, her and I, were both wrong. As for you, the only time I put my hands on you was to spank your butt when you had done something bad. Think about it for awhile, you'll remember."

He was right and I did start to remember. The rest of the night was full of us sharing memories of better times. We talked about everything including California, where I was born and spent the first nine years of my life, and the one year that we all lived in that house in Tennessee together.

My hate and anger had been replaced by confusion. How did things in my head get so distorted? Shortly after he went to bed, the storm returned with a vengeance. It wanted out and I could no longer hold it back.

I collapsed in a heap on the floor and began to weep. The last time that I had cried like that was in this house when my grandmother, his mother, had died. And that's when my mother had taken me and left.

I left that week in Tennessee with a new found respect, love, and relationship for and with my father. We began to talk to each other on the phone almost every day. It would be another 4 years before I would see him again.

September 27th, 2002. My father flew to Portland, Oregon to attend my wedding. He and my new wife didn't get along too well. Oh, how I wish I would've picked up on his feelings about her. It would have saved me 3 years of misery.

We continued to talk on the phone on an almost daily basis. He was my best friend. He was the one I turned to when my marriage fell apart and I was going through a divorce in 2005.

"I wish you were here, son. I'd like to see you again."

Our conversations always seemed to find their way to this topic this past year. I'd always have some excuse as to why it would be awhile before I could come back for a visit.

Then he got sick and he stopped asking.

"It's ok, son. You'll be home soon enough."

I knew what he meant.

"Dad, quit being so dramatic. You're not gonna die. You've got a few years left in ya. Besides, mom always said you were too evil to die."

I realized I had said that more for my benefit than his. I think he knew it too.

September 6th, 2007

"Sean, this is Jackie. Lou's back in the hospital. It doesn't look good."

"Ok, Jackie. Keep me updated and I'll see what I can do."

My father's new wife had called me to tell me that he was back in the hospital. He had been in and out since the end of April. He had an infection, but they could never find it.

September 7th, 2007

"Sean, this is Jackie. You need to come home. Lou's passed away."

I went numb. I left work and headed home. That night, I packed and put everything in my car and headed for Tennessee. 36 hours and 7 states later I was there.

September 11th, 2007

We arrived at the funeral home. I had not seen my father since the day of my wedding 5 years ago and now I would be seeing him lying in a coffin.

I kept my composure and I did not cry. The son of a decorated Marine who served a tour in Vietnam could not be seen doing such things. The tears were there, but I fought myself to hold them back.

Taps played as three marines stood around my father and saluted him for the final time. The tears came. I could no longer hold them back. They continued as one of the Marines presented my father's wife with the American flag that had draped his casket.

September 13th, 2007

I picked up my father's ashes and headed back home, to Oregon.

Dad, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye and tell you that I love you for the last time.

This is my memorial to you:

Louis Marion Lovett

Corporal USMC

October 27, 1935 - September 7, 2007

THE FINAL INSPECTION

The Marine stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you Marine,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The Marine squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Marine waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you Marine,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."
~Author Unknown~

I love you, dad. And I miss you

For My Father's Memory Cont.

2008-03-02T04:51:00.000-08:00

My hand slightly trembled as I dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"H-Hello...Is Lou there?"

"Son?"

"Dad?"

Our first conversation after 10 years was little more than small talk; neither of us quite sure of what to say to the other and me not letting my guard down.

We talked every night that week. Although our conversations slowly became more natural, more friendly, we both knew a storm was building up underneath. That storm, fueled by the anger that unanswered questions and fuzzy memories will cause, was about to come inland.

"Son, I want to see you again. It's been so long."

"I know dad. I'm just really busy at work right now and I don't really have the money. We'll figure something out soon."

The words were hollow. I really didn't have any intentions of seeing him, not yet anyway.

"You don't have to worry about that, son. I bought you a plane ticket. It leaves this weekend"

"Um...ah..."

"Will you be on it?"

Something inside me clicked as if a light turned on. I had to do this. I had been carrying around all this hate and pain, all this anger for too long. Regardless of the outcome, it was time to let go.

"Yes, I'll be there."

As I boarded the plane in Salt Lake I was running on pure adrenaline. I was building the facade that I would present to him. I would show no weakness.

It was the adrenaline that helped me sprint like Carl Lewis as we arrived late at Dallas/Ft. Worth and the connecting flight to Nashville was already boarding at the opposite end of the airport.

As we began our descent into Nashville, I wondered how meeting my father for the first time in ten years would play out. I imagined everything from both of us hugging and crying to me punching him right in the face and turning around and getting back on the plane.

Then I saw him. He was not how I had remembered him. He was old now. He was no longer this massive figure that towered over me and caused fear and dread; no longer the stuff that nightmares are made of.

We hugged briefly. It seemed to be more of an empty gesture used by assassins to check each other for weapons. However, there was an unspoken understanding that our awkward hug was due to both of us having our guards up, wanting to test the waters first.

Upon leaving the airport, he presented me with his version of a token of good will. I gazed down at this object in my hands, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness inside the car. Jack Daniels. He had given me a bottle of Jack Daniels.

He sat, turned in his seat, staring into the backseat at me. My eyes darted from the bottle to him, to his friend that was driving, and back to the bottle. Inside I was facing a dilemma.

"Go on son, take a drink. It'll put hair on your chest."

My dilemma had nothing to do with morales. I was worried about open container laws. I realized what a hypocrite I was due to the fact that I smoked weed like it was going out of style and had no problem with toking up in a car, something I had done on several occasions prior.

I realized the bottle had already been opened and that I could smell the whiskey on his breath. In that moment I understood that this wasn't just a token of good will, but also his way of helping both of us ease our tensions surrounding this chancy reuniting.

I unscrewed the top and took a long draw from the bottle. Slowly, the wall was coming down.

To be concluded

For My Father's Memory

2008-03-02T04:47:00.000-08:00

I have another blog besides this one and I've shared ny father's passing on that blog. I feel it is time to share it here. It is in three parts. This is the first part, with each subsequent part to follow:

I'll never forget that morning when my mother woke me up.

"Sean, wake up!"

"Come on! You have to wake up right now!"

"Grab your clothes, what toys you want to take, and anything else you think you might need! We're leaving."

It was a summer morning in 1988. I was barely 10 years old. After almost 16 years and a divorce with no remarriage, my mother decided to leave my father once and for all.

Little did I know at the time, but she had been planning this for awhile. She already sent my older sister off to New Hampshire to live with relatives. Now it was our turn to leave this little hole-in-the-wall redneck town in Tennessee and join my sister on the east coast.

It would be ten years before I would see my father again.

It was a cold night in Utah in January of 1998. As the snow lightly fell, I made my way home from work. My roommate and I had only had phone service for a couple of weeks. Of course, the service was in my name since she had long ago destroyed her credit; I had not yet been lucky enough to experience that joy.

I wasn't expecting a call when I checked the answering machine that night. As soon as I heard the voice I knew it was him. Although it had been ten years since I had seen my father or even spoke to him, I hadn't forgotten.

For a moment, I was frozen. It was just long enough to allow wave after wave of emotion to crash into me stripping away everything I thought I had become until there was nothing left except that little terrified 10 year old boy I once was.

It was all too much. I ran to my room and hid in my closet. The old familiar routine. I began to sob.

"How did he find me?!"

"What does he want from me?"

"I haven't forgotten what you did to us!"

All of these thoughts continued to run through my mind as I huddled in the corner of that dark closet and wept. From somewhere inside me, I heard my own voice reminding me that I was no longer that little boy and that I didn't have to be afraid any more.

For 10 years I had heard nothing but degrading, hateful remarks against my father. I didn't know what memories were real and what had been manufactured from the ceaseless barrage my mother provided.

I had to find out. I had to know, for myself, who he really was. I wasn't that little boy anymore. I wasn't afraid anymore.

To be continued

I've Had Enough

2008-03-02T02:33:00.000-08:00

With all the problems we face today; social, economical, spritual, and personal, maybe it' time for it to be over.

I'm not a doomsdayer and I certainly won't quote scripture. However, if it were all to end tomorrow, how sorry would we really be? Somtimes, when I read the news, I lose faith. Well, it's not that hard for me. You see, I've done technical support for 10+ years. So I lost my faith in humanity long ago. But, what if, tomorrow was our last day on earth?

I know where I would be. This is because I've already made my peace with whatever higher power (we believe/not belive in) that I will answer to.

I will be on a beach listening to Tool's Aenima. Here's how it goes:

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this

Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.

Mom is going to fix it all soon,
Mom is coming round to put it back
the way it oughtta be...

Learn to swim.

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down.
flush it down.

Hillary Clinton On SNL

2008-03-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

Here's a clip of Hillary on Saturday Night Live. I don't hate Hillary, but I honestly think that this stunt is too little too late. But, I guess we'll find out on Tuesday.

By the way, Tuesday is my sister's birthday. Happy Birthday Shelley! Remember, no matter how old we get, you'll always be older than me!

A Song For The Republican Base (and Religious Zealots)

2008-03-01T01:07:00.000-08:00

In keeping with the election year theme, I have found a song that seems to fit the GOP, and the religious zealots that have a tendency to make up it's base, perfectly.

The song is by Nine Inch Nails and is titled "The Hand That Feeds"

Read the lyrics and tell me this doesn't fit:

You're keeping in step
In the line
Got your chin held high and you feel just fine
Because you do
What you're told
But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold

Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

What if this whole crusade's
A charade
And behind it all there's a price to be paid
For the blood
On which we dine
Justified in the name of the holy and the divine

Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

So naive
I keep holding on to what I want to believe
I can see
But I keep holding on and on and on and on

Will you bite the hand that feeds you?
Will you stay down on your knees? [8X]

Robbery Done Wrong

2008-02-29T07:35:00.000-08:00

What happens when you try to rob someone while pretending that a bottle of cologne is a gun and the someone you try to rob happens to have a background in martial arts?

This:

OWNED!

Even better; the would-be robber had a knife on him, but opted to pretend the cologne bottle was a gun. Genius!

To read about the rest of this misadventure, click here

Obama; Boxers Or Briefs?

2008-02-28T07:07:00.000-08:00

Us magazine had a chance to sit down with Barack Obama for an interview. In the interview they asked the hard hitting questions that everyone wants answers to. Here's what they asked him:

What do your daughters think of Britney Spears?

A lot of celebrities support you. Do you ever get starstruck?

and, the most important question of all

Boxers or briefs?

Really Us magazine? You had a chance to sit down with the current front runner for the Democratic nomination for President; the person who could very likely be our next President and this is the shit you thought to ask him?

No one thought maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to ask him something like this:

In the recent debates between you and senator Clinton there has been a lot of talk about how the ideas and policies of you two are similar, but not too much talk about the differences. Could you elaborate on how your ideas and policies are different from hers and why they would make you the better nominee?

I could be wrong here, but I would think a question like that might help undecided voters make a decision on who to support.

But, what do I know? Afterall, I'm no Us magazine.

If you're interested in his answers to the above questions, you can find them here.

It's Our Fault Clinton Is Losing

2008-02-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

According to Mark Penn, a message maker for the Clinton campaign, the problem is that people don't understand the message they are trying to get across.

Apparently, the message is about big goals and not small ones. Mark believes that we, the people, didn't understand that. If we had understood it Hillary would be doing a lot better and would be ahead of Obama.

Right. Cause the problem is we just don't get it. Actually, I think we do get it and that is exactly why Hillary isn't doing as well as she thought she would.

What a sorry ass excuse for failure.

Full story here

For Someone Special

2008-02-26T20:54:00.000-08:00

This is for someone special. They know who they are.

boomp3.com

The Prince We Knew

2008-02-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

I wrote earlier today about Prince going in for a hip replacement. We all know what this means. He will never be the same. So, let's remember how he was with the following videos:

Black Sweat

Prince – Black Sweat - Music Video - The funniest videos are a click away

Darling Nikki

Let's Go Crazy

Not Supporting Clinton? That's A Stabbin'!

2008-02-26T08:52:00.000-08:00

According to Jose Ortiz, if you don't like Hillary Clinton then you get to feel his cold steel in your gut.

He and his brother-in-law, an Obama supporter (go figure), got into an argument concerning the two candidates. This led to punching and choking and the eventual stabbing. It would seem to me that this is almost a reflection of how nasty and ugly things are starting to get between the two candidates.

Hopefully, March 4th will settle this once and for all.

Full story here with black eye pic awesomeness.

I Am Officially Old

2008-02-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

This is a sad, sad day. Music superstar Prince is having surgery. What kind of surgery? He's having hip replacement surgery.

When the rockstars you grew up listening to start having hip replacements you know you're getting old. I guess this means there will be no more stage antics the likes of which we were witness to in Purple Rain. That's a shame. I, for one, am of the belief that no one can hump a stage like Prince.

Maybe this is all Darling Nikki's fault. Like he said, "I cant tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin will kick your behind
Oh, she'll show u no mercy
But she'll shonuff, shonuff show u how 2 grind"

Yeah, grind your hip, apparently.
...Bitch

Awesome

2008-02-25T16:50:00.000-08:00

This is hilarious! No more words, just watch.

Here We Go Again

2008-02-25T07:17:00.000-08:00

As many of you probably already know, Ralph Nader announced he is running for president...again. Why? He has to know he doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell.

Oh well. I'm not really worried about it this time around. The candidates we have for this election far outshine Ralph Nader, which isn't that difficult. What will probably happen is all the Ron Paul kool-aid drinkers will probably lose their minds because now the power of suck that they have to choose from, Paul and Nader, will be too much for them.

All across the country, in the dimly lit basements of their parents' homes, they will come together. D&D will be put on hold in order to discuss the serious decision that is to be made. Who will they waste their vote on? Oh god, this is going to be intense!

It's Starting To Get Ugly

2008-02-24T20:58:00.000-08:00

Hillary Clinton is now taking a tone of sarcasm when choosing how to deal with Barack Obama. First she was angry about mailings from the Obama campaign. Now, after Obama pretty much snuffed that, she's decided that mocking him is a better approach.

At a rally in Rhode Island, she had this to say:

“Now I could stand up here and say, let’s get everybody together, let’s get unified the sky will open, the light will come down, celestial choirs will be singing and everyone will know we should do the right thing, and the world will be perfect. But I have no illusions about how hard this is going to be. You are not going to wave a magic wand and make the special interests disappear.”

It looks to me that these are nothing more than the last ditch attempts to avoid the inevitable, which would be her stepping down and admitting defeat at the hands of Barack Obama.

Will that happen? Will Barack Obama get the nomination? We'll find out a week from this coming Tuesday when we see who comes out ahead in Texas and Ohio.

Full story here

Problems

2008-02-24T12:29:00.000-08:00

There appears to be an issue with YouTube this morning. If you notice large blank spaces in some of my posts it's because there is supposed to be a video clip from youtube there.

Even youtube.com is not loading. Also, I have checked other sites that show video clips from youtube and they are having the same problem. Hopefully, youtube will have this fixed shortly and the video clips will be back up.

Oh, It's On Now!

2008-02-23T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hillary is pissed. Watch as she calls Obama out:

Here is his response:

They'll still be friends once this is all over? It will be interesting to see.

If They Try To Make You Go To Rehab, Say Yes, Yes, Yes

2008-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

I usually don't care anything at all about celebrity news, gossip, whatever. But, I cam across this video of Amy Winehouse and felt compelled to share it.

Girl is messed up! Watch the video and try not cringe as she struggles to make her way through Michael Jackson's "Beat It". Wow...just...wow.

Lackidaisical Security In Dallas. I Think We've Seen This Before

2008-02-22T14:06:00.000-08:00

At a Barack Obama rally in Dallas on Wednesday, the Secret Service instructed the local police to stop screening individuals for weapons. They stated that this was due to the long lines and wanting to get as many seats filled before Obama came out to speak.

Are you kidding me? This man is poised on the brink of becoming the next president of the United States and the Secret Service, his personal security, want the check for weapons to be halted in order to get the lines moving and seats filled?! And in Dallas of all places. WTF?!

What's next guys? You gonna put him in the back of a convertible and drive past the book depository? This is more than just a lapse in judgment, or a careless mistake. What if something would have happened due to their sloppy security work?

Hopefully, something like this won't happen again.

Full story here

That Loud Sucking Sound You Hear Is This

2008-02-22T09:53:00.000-08:00

Ralph Nader will be appearing on Meet The Press this Sunday. Apparently, he has an announcement to make. I can only imagine that his announcement will be his plans to enter the presidential race. This is because he hinted at this idea earlier.

Dude, please, I'm begging you, don't ruin another election for us. Just be happy to sit on the sidelines and enjoy the show.

Hello, Pot. This Is Kettle

2008-02-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

After bringing up the false accusation of Obama plagiarizing Deval Patrick and getting booed for it at last night's debate, Hillary Clinton decided to give it a try for herself in her closing remarks.

Watch the video below to see just how similar her closing remarks from last night are to remarks made by John Edwards.

Is The Future Now?

2008-02-21T14:03:00.000-08:00

There is a new rubber material that can mend itself after being cut or snapped into two pieces. This is made possible by hydrogen bonds in the material. Watch the demonstration below and then click the link for the full story.

Full story

Obama's Accomplishments

2008-02-20T09:33:00.000-08:00

This is truly sad. Regardless of what candidate you support, if you are representing them on a news affiliated show you really should know your stuff concerning the candidate you support.

Here is a clip from Hard Ball last night:

To see what Obama's accomplishments have been, click here

Chris Buttars: Dumbass Extraordinaire

2008-02-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

Chris Buttars is a senator from Utah. He recently stuck both feet in his mouth and chewed vigorously when he said of a bill he opposed, "This baby is black. . . . It's a dark, ugly thing".

Then, after the NAACP condemned what Buttars had said, he decided that he has become a target of a "hate lynch mob".

Wow, Chris, you're 0 for 2. Would you care to try again? I believe he would. Chris steps up to the plate and...Oh! It's a swing and a miss as he strikes out with "That's not a racial term in my opinion. How do I know what words I'm supposed to use in front of those people?"

Nice try, Chris. Nice try.

Read the full story here

Don't Tase Me, Bro! RNC Edition

2008-02-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

It looks like any protestors going to the RNC in Minnesota may soon be joining Andrew Meyer in the "Don't tase me, bro!" song and dance.

The St. Paul Police Department is stocking up on tasers. They recently purchased an extra 230 of them. Now, were these ordered specifically for the RNC? No, of course not! Don't be absurd!. It just so happens that the 230 tasers they've ordered will arrive around the same time as the RNC (wink,wink).

I know I'll be paying more attention to the RNC this year. If for nothing more than to see how many people the police can get to do the "Safety Dance" out in the streets.

Full story here

For your viewing pleasure:

How Is This Even Possible?

2008-02-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

The Czech Republic is missing a 4 ton bridge. It was stolen. Yes, stolen. A 4 ton bridge. I'm really trying to understand the dynamics of this. How long would something like this take? Would anyone notice (apparently not)?

The funniest part of this is that it happened even though there was a company responsible for keeping an eye on it. That's some fine security work there.

Full story here

Castro Resigns

2008-02-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

After nearly 50 years of of ruling Cuba with an iron fist, Castro has announced that he will be stepping down. He will no longer be the president of Cuba or the Commander in chief of the Cuban military.

Don't too excited yet. Castro is turning over power to his brother Raul. So, it's very likely that nothing will change. However, that's not to take away how historic this occasion is. It will be the first time in almost 50 years that someone else will be the president of Cuba and the commander in chief of their military.

Read the full story here

Florida Schools Vote On Evolution

2008-02-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

The Board of Education in Florida will vote on whether or not to allow the teaching of Evolution. They will not only be allowing the teaching of evolution, but will be voting on whether or not to make it mandatory.

What surprises me most is that they weren't already teaching evolution, required or not. If they want to teach Intelligent Design, fine, but at least offer the alternate, more scientifically based, Evolution as well. It surprises me that up to this point it has been very one sided. If I were a student in High School in Florida I would be feeling cheated.

The fact that Evolution was not offered as a course for science in the high schools is just as biased as the fundalmentalist right wingers would call everyone else if Intelligent Design wasn't being offered as an alternative.

It's simply staggering that in this day and age there is still a debate about this. I thought the Scopes trial settled it.

Read the article here

Bill Clinton: Helping Or Hurting?

2008-02-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

Bill Clinton continues to campaign for his wife, Hillary. Unfortunately, that may not be such a good thing. He could actually end up doing more damage than good for Hillary's campaign.

He was involved in two verbal confrontations with people at rallies in Ohio for Senator Clinton. He also seems to be reminding people more and more about his own presidency rather than telling them why Hillary would be a good choice.

Maybe he should take a backseat and become a silent partner for the rest of this campaign.

Read the story here

For My Father

2008-02-17T00:15:00.000-08:00

My Father died September 7th, 2007. This is my memorial to him.

Louis Marion Lovett

Corporal USMC

October 27, 1935 - September 7, 2007

Vietnam '63-'64

MARINE MEDIUM HELICOPTER SQUADRON 364

"The Purple Foxes"

THE FINAL INSPECTION

The Marine stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you Marine,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The Marine squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Marine waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you Marine,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."
~Author Unknown~

I love you, dad. And I miss you

Music Is Therapy

2008-02-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

I was listening to some various songs tonite and I came across one that I hadn't listened to in awhile. As I listened to it, I realized why this was an important song for me.

About 2 1/2 years ago I went through a divorce. It wasn't filled with court room visits or nasty custody battles, but it was bad nonetheless. During our divorce, my ex would have her friends over all the time. Some even lived with us. Her friends are quite the group. Some are ex-cons and the others would have been convicts but they were never caught.

This song describes so perfectly how I felt during that time, it was like a therapy for me when I would listen to it while everything was going on.

It is by Nine Inch Nails and is titled "Every Day Is Exactly The Same" Here are the lyrics:

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

[Chorus:]
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

[Chorus]

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

[Chorus x2]

I Weep For The Future

2008-02-16T20:06:00.000-08:00

"Jamie Lynn shocked a boy at a party by asking him for sex. "It's cool, I'm pregnant," she said!"

This, and the trainwreck known as her sister, is exactly what happens when rednecks get money. Do I really need to say anything else?

Find out about how much Jamie Lynn loves sex, here

You Stay Classy, Fox News

2008-02-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

Fox News has always been on the verge of being ridiculous, but this puts a brick on the accelerator and slams it into drive, right off a cliff.

Tom Sullivan, over at Fox News, has compared Barack Obama to Hitler. Yes, Hitler. Why did he do this? Because a caller mentioned it and Tom decided to take the ball and run with it, you know, because that's the definition of responsible journalism.

Here's the entire segment:

Some People Don't Know When To Shut Up

2008-02-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

Pennsylvania Governor Eddie Rendell isn't painting a pretty picture of the voters in his state.

First, he said that Barack would have a hard time in Pennsylvania because "some white Pennsylvanians are likely to vote against Obama because he is black."

Then he decided to go for the extra point with this gem:

"Senator Clinton has the same handicap. There are some men who have said, 'Look I have nothing against Senator Clinton but I don't want to see a woman ... in charge of the United States military as commander in chief.'"

I would hope (but I know better) that we would have reached a time when deciding who the next president of this country is would be based on ability to lead, their track record, so to speak, and not based on the color of their skin or their gender.

Although there may be some truth to what the Governor said, it wasn't very smart for him to point it out. Racists, bigots, and sexists don't like having their faults brought to other's attention and if that's what your voting base consists of you'll probably have a hard time getting re-elected.

Also, for the rest of the people living there, who actually may know better than to make a decision based solely on race or gender, it is probably quite offensive to them to hear their Governor make that kind of statement.

Full article here

Clinton Rethinks MSNBC Boycott

2008-02-14T18:50:00.000-08:00

The New York Times is reporting that Hillary Clinton has changed her mind regarding boycotting debates hosted by MSNBC. The threat of the boycott came after an anchor at MSNBC made a comment about Hillary "pimping" her daughter, Chelsea, out for votes.

According to Hillary, this decision is based on not wanting the people of Ohio to miss the important debate.

Really? It would seem to me that Hillary's decision has less to do with her concern for the people of Ohio and more to do with her concern on continuing to be in this race. Everyone knows that she needs, NEEDS, Texas and Ohio otherwise she is finished.

You know, I would have had more respect for her had she just been honest about this. Hell, maybe even a better lie than this extremely thinly veiled attempt to make us believe that this decision is about the people.

Bitch, please...

Click here to read the full story

I Said, Gimme The Damn Chips!

2008-02-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

I have an older sister and her and I used to fight like cats and dogs when we were growing up. However, something like this would have never crossed either one of our minds.

A 10 year old boy wanted the bag of chips that his 9 year old sister had. When she wouldn't give them to him, he retrieved his father's shotgun, loaded it, and shot his sister in the face.

One more time - He shot his sister in the face....over a bag of chips!

Obviously, there is something wrong with this child and he needs some serious help. But, I have some questions:

1. Where were their parents?
2. Why did the boy have such easy access to his father's shotgun?
3. Had the boy displayed any behavior in the past that would be an indicator (if paid attention to) that something like this could possibly happen?

I know the answer to the 3rd questions. It is yes. It was stated that the boy had pulled the shotgun on another person previously. So, I ask again, why did the boy have such easy access to the shotgun?

Luckily, his sister is expected to live. Hopefully, this situation will force this family to take a good look at themselves and see what they need to do differently to prevent this from ever happening again and to get this kid the help he so obviously needs.

Now, I don't know this family and am not trying to attack them. It is tragic what happened and, thankfully, no one died. But, given the circumstances surrounding the incident, it's pretty clear that somethings need to change, be done better, or simply just be addressed.

Here is a link to the video with more information on what happened.

I Got Linked To

2008-02-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

I know this probably isn't a big deal, but it is cool to me. The post I wrote yesterday, Someone's A Dumbass, dealt with a post that I read on the lonestartimes.com site.

I linked to the story at the end of my post. Well, they followed up and mentioned me by name and posted a link to my personal blog.

Again, this probably isn't a big deal, but I think it's cool. I would also like to say thank you to lonestartimes.com

Here's the link to the update that mentions me and links to my blog.

Someone's A Dumbass

2008-02-12T10:43:00.000-08:00

Regardless of what you think of Che Guevara, there is no doubt that he was/is a figure of controversy. He's such a controversial figure that hanging a flag with his likeness on the wall of your office is probably not a good idea.

In fact, it becomes an even worse idea when you happen to be the leader of the campaign in your area to elect Barack Obama. I'm wondering if this person even knows who Che Guevara was and what he stood for. I wouldn't be surprised if she was one of the types who saw it and thought it looked cool and had no idea who that was on the flag.

You can read the story and see a pic of the flag hanging on her wall here

I bet, after this story came out, that the flag came down really quick.

Seriously Russia, WTF?!

2008-02-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

It's another day so it must mean it's time for another story about Russia tryin' to start some shit.

This time, a Russian bomber, in a display of extreme stupidity, "buzzed" one of [i]our[/i] aircraft carriers in the western pacific.

We answered with 4 of our FA-18 fighter jets.

Obviously, Russia is trying to say something or prove something, but they are really going about it the wrong way. How much longer will stunts like these go on before it becomes escalated. Let's not forget the epic fuck up that is currently occupying the white house and will continue to do so for almost another year

Here's the full story.

Rock The Vote With Hillary!

2008-02-11T11:05:00.001-08:00

"Ok, maybe Hillary doesn't shred. But she will:..."

Yes, Hillary. Please, rock us like a hurricane. So, it's been one day since her campaign manager stepped down and now we have this gem of a campaign ad.

I was really hoping to hear her voice at the end saying "This is Hillary Clinton and I approve this message." Instead all we got was the little "paid for by..." script.

I wonder if Hillary has even seen this yet. I know she wants to seem cool and appeal to younger voters and I shouldn't knock her for trying, but seriously; it's a really stupid campaign ad.

Michael, WTF?

2008-02-09T13:47:00.001-08:00

So, I was sitting home last night and getting drunk. I was thinking of better times (hopefully in the not too distant future) when my knee will be healed and I'll be able to get around better and start going out again.

The dog and I were just sitting here perusing news sites (she likes to keep up with current events too) and listening to music.

In rotation last night was some classic Michael Jackson. We had P.Y.T., Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, Billie Jean, and Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'. Now, I knew all these songs from my childhood, but had never really paid attention to the lyrics.

All is going well. I'm working on my 3rd Hennessy and Coke and feeling a good buzz. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' comes on. I wasn't really paying attention as I was in the middle of reading something on cnn.com.

However, I heard something that made me pause the song and back it up to listen again. I heard the samething as before. I figured that it couldn't be what I thought it was and that I was hearing this because I was drunk. I went to google and did a search for the lyrics. Imagine my surprise when I found that there was nothing wrong with my hearing.

This is what I heard and these are the actual lyrics:

"You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable
Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable
You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable
They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable"

WTF? Now, some of you may have already known that those were the lyrics. I had no idea. It doesn't make any sense.

I tried to figure it out. I can't. The closest I came was that he was really, really, pissed off at handicap people. Also, maybe he personally knew a handicapped person who had a job at a sushi bar. The kind where they eat sushi off the naked ladies. Maybe the handicapped person he was pissed at was the naked lady at the sushi bar?

If anyone has a better explanation (other than he's a pedophile. That's played out, common knowledge, and doesn't apply here) I would love to hear it.

And So It Begins...

2008-02-09T11:33:00.001-08:00

In the latest "Holy shit! It's the end of the world!" drama scene, Russia decided it would be a good idea to violate Japanese airspace with one of its bombers.

This coming just one day after Time's man of the year declared the world is in a new arms race. This violation on the part of Russia was answered with 22 Japanese Navy fighter jets.

Of course, Japan tried to get ahold of Russia and ask them "WTF?", but no one was available.

I don't like this. I don't like this at all. I might have to actually go out and buy a shovel, a shitload of concrete, and call the city to get the blueprints for where cables and pipes are buried in my backyard. Damn you, Putin!

Here's the story.

Owned!

2008-02-08T18:00:00.000-08:00

Some douchebag with a video camera walks up to a Obama supporter and attempts to embarrass him by drilling him with questions he assumes the supporter will not be able to answer.

What takes place is the exact opposite. Watch as the supporter serves up a dish of ownage to said douchebag.

I love intelligent people. Thank god for this young man and those who use their minds as well as he does.

This Should End Well

2008-02-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

According to Vladimir Putin (remember him, Time's man of the year?), the world is engaged in a new arms race.

Apparently, he's pissed off that Bush and Co. want to include Poland and the Czech Republic in the locations for their missile defense shield.

Gee, I can't imagine why. Personally, I would more than welcome someone setting up missiles in my backyard and pointing them at my house.

Putin stated that Russia is currently spending less than other countries for new weapons. But, reassured everyone by stating that Russia will develop hi-tech weaponry to respond to this new arms race.

To read the article, click here

Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be in my fallout shelter preparing for Cold War II: Russia's Revenge

Apparently, I Am Out Of Touch With The Times

2008-02-07T16:38:00.000-08:00

I found out, yesterday, that I am, apparently, out of touch with the times. I was in my manager's office discussing the worthlessness of a meeting we had just attended.

One of my coworkers came in and joined the conversation. As we were finishing our talk, she noticed that my manager had that day's newspaper laying on his desk. She also noticed that there was a picture of "Hanna Montana" on the front page.

She pointed to the picture and said to me "They're saying that by the time she's 18 she'll be worth 1 billion (yes, billion with a B)dollars."

My response was "Who is she?" This is where I was informed that it was none other than Hanna Montana. "Um, ok. That means about as much to me as it would if you had said that the dude across the street is worth 1 billion dollars. I still have no idea who these people are." I explained.

This lead to me knowing much more than I ever wanted to about Hanna Montana and the fact that she is Billy Ray Cyrus's crotchfruit. Really? Someone let achy breaky mullet man procreate? There is no justice.

Of course, my coworker knows all of this because she has a daughter. This was my reply to her concerning that:

"I'm a grown man who's been divorced twice and has a drinking problem. Please tell me how any part of that would include knowing who the hell Hanna Montana is."

She replied with: "I see your point. But, you're still out of touch."

Yes. Yes, I am.

Douchebaggery!

2008-02-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

Can someone please explain to me why Rush Limbaugh is still relevant to anyone? He's a pompous ass and a hypocrite (read: drug addict).

Yet, he still manages to cling to his flock of kool-aid drinkers. In his latest display of douchebaggery, he has been attacking McCain. Apparently, McCain isn't enough of a fascist for Limbaugh's liking.

I've noticed, lately, that loud mouthed, irrelevant asshats, such as Limbaugh and Coulter, have been attacking their own. Somehow, going after the "godless" liberal left isn't sporting anymore for them. It's almost reminiscent of a mob family killing one of its own.

Now, I don't like McCain. I certainly wouldn't vote for him. But, the fact that Rush Limbaugh has a sandy vagina about him kind of makes him cool in my book.

Whatever he's doing to piss off Rush I hope he keeps it up. Maybe Rush will get so pissed that his head will explode, live, on the air. That would be so cool.

;)

To read what Captain Bag O' Dicks had to say about McCain, click here

You're Gonna Take It And You're Gonna Like It!

2008-02-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

Universal health care whether you want it or not, that appears to be Hillary's plan.

In an interview on "This Week", she was asked how she planned to achieve her goal of universal health care if she were to become our next president.

Her response was this:

"I think there are a number of mechanisms" that are possible, including "going after people's wages, automatic enrollment."

Going after people's wages. Wow. Um, no thank you.

Here's the entire post

Suicide Among Soldiers

2008-02-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

The US Army is reporting that suicides among soldiers has risen to 5 per day. Before the start of the war in Iraq it was less then 1 per day.

What is it going to take, aside from a change in leadership, which isn't coming soon enough, to put an end to this?

In his last state of the union address, President Dipshit pretty much made it clear that the next president would inherit this mess (among all the others that he's created) because he has no intentions of trying to fix this problem while he's still in office. Well, that figures.

Then there's McCain saying things like "We could be in Iraq for the next 100 years." No wonder soldiers are killing themselves, they see no end in sight!

It's time to swallow pride and admit that we (read: they) were wrong and put an end to this. Our soldiers are dying in a war that should have never been started, that was based on lies and profiteering, that has made the original problems (Afghanistan, Bin Laden) forgotten, and has created more enemies for us.

This whole mess is very reminiscent of Vietnam. I remember the stories my father told of what it was like and how he was treated, when he came home, by the government not the people.

To read the the article, click here

The Coolest Train Ride. Ever

2008-02-02T02:00:00.000-08:00

If stuff like this would happen on the commuter train here in Portland I would definitely ride it more often!

Instead, we have games like "guess who's about to get stabbed!", "figure out what the drunk homeless guy next to you is saying", and "what's that smell?"

Click the link below to watch the video. It's only a couple of minutes long.

Coolest train ride ever!

Oh, Son Of A Bitch!

2008-02-02T01:59:00.000-08:00

Well, once again, we can pretty much kiss goodbye the chances of a democrat winning in November.

I'm not going to say anything else. Just click here and you'll see what I'm talking about.

By the way, I wasn't going to post anything else today, I don't want to be one of those people that post too much in one day. But, when I saw this I had to share it. So, this will be my last post for today.

This Bitch Here

2008-02-02T01:56:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, Ann Coulter has decided to climb out of the hole she's been hiding in for some time now. That's right. She's back and running her mouth, spewing vile just like before.

Either she's run out of "godless liberals" to hate or she's warming up by eating one of her own. In her latest rant she goes after Huckabee because, apparently, he's a liberal in evangelical's clothing.

This bitch here, man. Someone needs to slap the shit out of her. If for nothing more than the sheer enjoyment and pleasure it would bring to so many.

I'm posting two links in this entry. The first one will be to her rant about huckabee. The second one is a short story that someone, who is brilliant, wrote a few years ago. The short story is rude, crude, and graphic, but funny as hell. To give you an idea, the story is titled "I fucked Ann Coulter in the ass, hard".

Now, let me explain. The story does cover the activity mentioned in the title, but what makes it such a great read is the way that the writer defaces Coulter and puts her in her place. But, if you'd rather not deal with that subject matter, I understand.

So, here we go

Huckabee Rant

I Fucked Ann Coulter...

Tax Refund? No, Not Yours!

2008-02-02T01:54:00.000-08:00

Puerto Ricans are foreign citizens and, therefore, should not be entitled to a tax rebate.

This little gem of wisdom was brought to us by U.S. Representative Ginny Brown-Waite (R - etarded). According to Ginny, because Puerto Ricans are "foreign citizens and do not pay federal income taxes".

Unfortunately, Ginny seems to have forgotten that Puerto Ricans do pay social security and payroll taxes.

Unfortunately, it doesn't end there. She includes Guam in this also. Needless to say, people are pretty upset about this and think Ginny is an ass (ok, they didn't actually say that, but it is fitting.)

to read the article, click here

The Problem With This Country

2008-02-02T01:52:00.000-08:00

Recently, a town in Vermont included a measure on their ballot that was nothing more than symbolic. This measure allowed voters to decide if arrest warrants should be issued for George W. Bush and Dick Cheney should the two ever happen to set foot in their town.

Of course, this managed to create some controversy. Apparently, there are still some Bush supporters out there hiding under rocks. Who knew?

Here's an excerpt:

"One message from a Minnesota man said he'd like to see terrorists cut off the heads of some Brattleboro officials."

Okay. I can't be nice about this. I just can't. It's motherfuckers like this, the ones who've drunk the kool-aid and are registered to vote, that continue to hold this country back and prevent it from being great again.

Either they just can't admit they were wrong, are loyal to a fault, or really are retarded. Either way, as long as their numbers continue to be higher than those of us who actually think for themselves come election time, we will never crawl out of this hole that the last 7 years has put us into.

To quote Bill Maher: "Why do we always have to be the stupid country?"

To read the article, click here

Truly Inspirational

2008-02-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

For those of you who did not get a chance to see it, here is the video of Barack Obama's victory speech in South Carolina.

It's been a long time since I've felt inspired by or really believed in a political canidate, but he's manage to do it. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I believe he is my generation's JFK.

I hope he gets the nomination because I plan to vote for him.

Best. Editorial. Ever

2008-02-02T01:48:00.000-08:00

Those of you who had read my posts from the other sites (writingup and blogfeast) know that a good percentage of them dealt with my disgust over the increasingly disappearing line that divides church and state.

I have always tried to make it very clear where I stand on this. I don't care what religion people choose to practice. That's one of the great things about this country; we have the freedom to choose what religion we want to follow. The only thing I have ever asked is to not have it shoved in my face or infecting the government.

I don't try to force my religious beliefs onto others and I certainly don't try to interject it into OUR government in the hopes of creating some sort of Utopia that fits my beliefs, and my beliefs alone, perfectly.

So, why do others try to accomplish this? Honestly, I'm not sure nor do I want to take the time to write out a lengthy hypothesis concerning narrow and closed mindedness.

Now, I have mentioned in previous posts that if the fundamentalist right got their way and turned our democracy into a theocracy it would show how big of hypocrites they really are. This is because in order to achieve their goal they would have to take away basic civil rights of others. The exact same rights that allow them to believe and practice their religion.

For a long time I felt like I was more or less alone concerning this issue. Not any more. I just finished reading an editorial that hits the nail right on the head.

It is titled "Christians Should Fear A Christian Nation", written by Robert Weitzel. I'll post a link to it at the end of this entry.

Here are some excerpts:

"Mike Huckabee said we should "amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards . . .." McCain is pandering. Huckabee is deadly earnest. But keep in mind, many a democratic nation has been trampled because politicians were outsmarted by those whose boots they licked."

"Not only do the folks who share Huckabee and Scalia's "deadly earnest" want to change our nation's Constitution, they want to change its history as well."

"The particular genius of the Founding Fathers was their understanding that a Christian nation can be a dangerous place for both believers and nonbelievers. They knew that government prescribed religion—usually that of the most politically connected sect—invariably leads to intolerance and tyranny."

I highly recommend reading the entire editorial. It is a quick read, took me approximately 5 minutes (between sips of coffee and drags from a cigarette).

To read the editorial, click here

Thank God That's Over

2008-01-27T23:40:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, 12-11-07, 1pm (pst)

I hobbled through the automatic doors to the hospital and approached the check-in desk. I made my way over to the bench seats and waited for my name to be called.

After filling out what seemed like a mountain of paperwork, I was in a wheelchair and headed upstairs. I was shown to my room and managed to undress and put on their "take my dignity away" gown.

I climbed into bed and waited. It wasn't long before what I was dreading was taking place. I hate needles... A LOT. The nurse was very kind and explained that she would numb my hand before putting in the iv. As I was working on calming myself down for that, here comes another nurse with another needle. She attacks me from the other side, explaining that she needs a blood sample. God, why do you hate me?

Surprisingly, I made it through all of that without getting nauseas or breaking out in a cold sweat. Now, it was time to hurry up and wait. The scheduled time for my surgery came and went. Finally, about 2 hours after my scheduled time, one of my surgeons came in and explained that the surgeon performing my operation had been called away on an emergency so I wouldn't be having my surgery that day. Instead, I would be going home and coming back the next morning.

Again, why does god hate me?

Wednesday, 12-12-07, 8:15am (pst)

Again, I hobbled into the hospital and waited for my name to be called. Luckily, they had the paperwork saved from yesterday and it wasn't long before I was on my way back upstairs.

Time for the iv again. Unfortunately, this nurse wasn't as delicate as the previous one and couldn't find the vein right away. This lead to my mother holding me down for fear that I might hurt this lady. She finally found it and ended her sadistic torture of my hand.

A couple of hours later and I was on my way down to surgery. Que the nausea and cold sweat. I have no shame in saying that I was scared. I can count on two fingers all the times I have been hospitalized in my life, this time being one of them.

The nurse came and shaved the area around my knee where the surgery would be taking place. She also had the foresight to grab a pen and write "yes" with an arrow on my knee that they were to be operating on.

They wheeled me into the operating room and the anesthesiologist told me he just gave me something that would feel like I just had a couple of shots of Patron Tequila. The next thing I remember was being wheeled, in my bed, back to my room. The next few hours I spent in and out of consciousness.

I finally woke up around 5pm and realized that my knee hurt like hell. A few milligrams of morphine later and it was ok. At 6pm I was discharged and on my way home with prescriptions for oxycontin and percocet.

Now begins the physical therapy to get my knee back in working order. I'm just glad the surgery and my hospital stay are both over and I got some great parting gifts (prescriptions) for my troubles.

Thanks for playing Sean, thanks for playing

Oh Snap

2008-01-27T23:37:00.000-08:00

We decided to take a break from tradition for Thanksgiving this year. Instead of being in a relative's home and working on a nice belligerent drunkenness (read, while slurring: "You know what your problem is?!) we decided to go out to eat.

Judging from the parking lot at Home Town Buffet, so did everyone and their dog too. It wasn't too bad. I managed to wade through the white trash parade and actually get a decent meal. Afterwards, my best friend, my uncle, and I decided to head to the bar he used to work at for drinks and several games of pool.

After several pitchers and games of pool, I was ready to call it a night. We dropped off my uncle and, as I was dropping off my friend, he reminded me that there was another party that his friends were throwing and he wanted to be dropped off there. No problem, it wasn't out of the way.

I dropped him off at the coffee shop that his friends own, which is where the party was taking place. I went inside to use the restroom because my bladder can only hold so much beer for so long. On my way in, I saw a girl that I have started to get to know and wouldn't mind getting to know a little better (wink, wink. nudge, nudge)

I stopped to say hello and she told me about the "after party" that was going on at a house just around the corner. I asked if she would be there and she said she would and that I should definitely show up. YES! I was gonna score. I could almost taste it.

One problem, though. I had to get rid of my mom. So, I told everyone I would be back, jumped in the car, and raced back to my place where my mother's car was waiting to take her home. Now, don't think that I was just kicking my mom to curb for a piece of ass. She was ready to go home and had asked me to take her to her car so she could.

After a quick breath and b.o. check I was back on the road headed back to the party. I got there just as everyone was leaving to go to the after party. The girl who I was hoping to score with was leaving to, but not to the party. In fact, she now seemed upset and didn't know whether or not she would make it over there.

Figures.

Oh well. I drove all the way back out, I might as well go and enjoy myself. That's exactly what I did too. As the night came to a close, I was ready to leave and so was my friend. However, the host of this party finaly emerged from where ever he had been, now that we were the only two left. Not wanting to be rude, we decided to stay a little long and hang out with him.

For reasons that I can't recall, The host of the party and myself decided to give my friend a martial arts demonstration. Things were going fine and we were both interjecting the philosophies of the various styles that we had both studied.

That's when it happened. I was explaining something to my friend when this guy grabs me from behind and takes me down. As I fell, I heard a snapping and a popping and figured it was my back as it had been tense for sometime and I was twisting as I fell.

I did what I always do when I get hurt, I laid there repeating the phrase "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay", And the more something hurts the louder I talk. So, I'm laying there practically yelling I'm okay over and over again.

After a few minutes the pain was subsiding. I decided to stand up. I just wanted to go home at this point. As I tried to walk an intense pain shot through my leg and, in an instant, I was back on the ground. My knee cap had slid out of place and I had to pop it back in.

This scenario would repeat itself 3 more times before I finally got to a doctor the next morning. They took x-rays and gave me a prescription for vicodin (I love them) and gave me a leg brace that prevents me from bending my left leg. This also prevents me from driving as I have a standard transmission car.

So, for about the past 2 weeks I have been stuck at home. The only time I have left was when I went to get my mri's last monday. I'm about to lose my mind. Also, no one seems to really know what the problem is. One person believes that I torn the ligament that holds the knee cap in place and another believes that I fractured my tibia. I'm supposed to find out for sure when I meet with an orthopedist this coming Thursday. They'll also let me know whether or not I'll need surgery.

I'll be so glad when all this is over with and I will never again participate in drunken martial arts demonstrations.

Good Riddance!

2007-05-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. I also know that I am a week behind in getting this out (off my chest). Unfortunately, working 50 hours a week and using the weekends to stay on top of household chores, much needed sleep, and a life outside of work will eat up ones free time.

Anyway, on with the post.

There is a god! My prayers have been answered! Please, don't misunderstand. I don't normally rejoice when someone passes away and I don't wish ill will on anyone. However, in this case I must take exception.

Jerry Falwell - no other man has been able to climb so high on the rungs of the political ladder (especially as of late)while spewing hatred, intolerance, and ignorance all under the thinly veiled guise of a righteous religious front.

I know it shouldn't, but it never ceases to amaze me how many people gobble this shit up. I am not referring to religion. I am referring to following a man who is so obviously full of hate and regarding his word as gospel. It sickens me to see the blatant hypocrisy that is accepted and believed. I graduated from seminary. I don't recall Jesus teaching "hate thy neighbor" or be intolerant of thy neighbor (unless, of course, they believe the same way you do).

Let's not forget that it was Jerry Falwell who said that the attacks and devastation of September 11th were due to our ever increasing acceptance and tolerance of homosexuality in America. Really Jerry? So, you mean to tell us that the Islamic extremists who attacked us did so because they were fed up with our leniency on "fags"?

Do you see what I mean? Do you see how ridiculous he was? But, it doesn't end with him. All of the people who drank the kool-aid and got the free Nike shoes will do their best to keep his so-called legacy alive.

To quote Denis Leary: "I don't get it. I missed the point. The boat left and I wasn't on the fucking boat..." When, or better yet, how did it become so easy to con so many people? I mean, if you spend just a fraction of the time that his followers did/do listening to his nonsensical rantings you'll see just how full of shit he was. How can so many people not say to themselves "Wait a minute. This doesn't make any sense. This guy is insane and he certainly isn't a "man of god.""?

I'm not trying to attack anyone and their beliefs. Live and let live, believe what you want. The only time that I make an exception to that is when it starts to affect my life. That is exactly what this fool with his rantings attempted to accomplish with each little bit of political power he received.

Perhaps the biggest hypocrisy of them all is how they attack the civil rights of others in an effort to push their religious agenda. Do they not see that the rights they are attempting to take away from others because they don't fit in with their beliefs are the exact same rights that allow [i]them[/i] to believe, think, and say what [i]they[/i] want?

It'll never happen, but imagine the shock and confusion they would experience if they got their way and all of a sudden our government became a theocracy and they found out that they lost some of their rights too. Yeah, good job asshats.

In closing, Jerry Falwell, wherever you may be, please know that your passing is celebrated more than it is mourned and you have no one to blame but yourself for that.

P.S. I hope you're rotting in hell. You deserve it.

My Peoples' Day

2007-03-17T12:39:00.001-07:00

St. Patrick's Day is here again! Of course, I plan to celebrate, it's in my blood. That's right, I'm an Irish-Scottish American and proud of it. Wait, Irish-Scottish American? That doesn't sound right. Fuck this P.C. bullshit. I'm a mick and today I'm a drunk mick.

Why is this day important? Oh, I don't know. Maybe my forefathers could tell about how they got off the boat, tried to find work, and all they heard was "We don't hire Irish!". Oh really? Well, we got our own day now. So, suck it!

Seriously, here's a little history lesson for ya:
(the following text is taken from another site. A link to which will be provided at the end)

"St. Patrick was born in either Scotland or Wales, the son of Roman parents living in Britain. When he was about fifteen or sixteen, he was captured and enslaved by an Irish chieftain during a raiding party across the sea. He spent several years enslaved in Ireland, herding and tending sheep and swine. It was during his captivity that St. Patrick dedicated his life to God. Legend has it that St. Patrick escaped captivity and Ireland after a dream in which God instructed him to journey to the Irish coast where he found a ship that returned him to his family.

After years of religious study, he became a priest. In a document attributed to him known as "The Confession", St. Patrick heard the voice of the Irish in his dreams, "crying to thee, come hither and walk with us once more." Eventually, Pope Clemens commissioned St. Patrick as bishop to preach the gospel to the Celtic people. Arriving back in Ireland, he commenced an incredible mission, travelling across the country, preaching and baptizing, ordaining priests and bishops, erecting churches and establishing places of learning and worship, despite constant threats to his life. It has been said that he and his disciples were responsible for converting almost all the population of Ireland to Christianity. " the site and more info can be found here

So, St. Patrick's day is traditionally a religious holiday. I'm not Catholic (I'm not anything religious), but I am sentimental about my heritage. What can I say? My people like to drink. I mean, if a main staple of your diet was potatoes (no Dan Quayle jokes, when it's plural there is an E) wouldn't you drink too?

Anyway, getting back on track here - St. Patrick's Day is our holiday, in as much as Cinco De Mayo is a Mexican holiday. Everyone's invited. Just don't forget who made this possible for the rest of you.

For my Irish brothers, here's a little treat for ya:

Happy St. Patrick's day!

Well, Whadda Ya Know?

2007-03-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading an interesting article about prescription painkiller abuse in Utah. Here's an excerpt:

"Utah has more people who abuse prescription pain medication than anywhere else in the nation, according to a new federal report."

Hmm, I wonder why this could be. Actually, I know exactly why it is. The reasons why I will now gladly explain to you. I feel more than qualified to do this seeing as how I lived in Utah for over 8 years and, for some of that time, I belonged to the dominant religion (Mormons).

Basically, it's really not that hard to understand. Especially, if you're an insider who's managed to step out and look back in. Back around '96 or '97 that's exactly what I did. I had become disillusioned with Mormonism because the more I studied it, the more things didn't add up. I started to do some research. This is what I found at that time:

Utah lead the nation in:
1. drug abuse
2. sexual abuse
3. spousal abuse
4. rape
5. teen pregnancy

Unfortunately, there were a few others, but I can't remember them right now (I got out and have decided not to devote too much time to it anymore).

I couldn't figure out how this could be. You never hear about these things on the news. Then I realized something. The mormon church basically runs things in Utah. There is no such thing as separation of church and state there. The light bulb came on. Of course we would never hear about these things on the news. The church, Utah, has an image to uphold. How would it look if it were common knowledge that things were running amok in the world-wide headquarters of a globally organized religion?

Ok. But, why? Why is it this bad? I mean, mormonism is supposed to be about purity and wholesomeness, about families and a 1950's type home unit with every woman aspiring to be June Cleaver and Betty Crocker all rolled into one. This was especially true in the area where I lived. The Orem/Provo area (about 50 miles south of Salt Lake) was about 95% mormon when I lived there.

Here's why - It's all a facade. Men, women, and children have unrealistic ideals that they are supposed to conform to thrust upon them by this church. Oh, but Sean that's not fair. You could make that accusation about any religion. True, but we're talking about Utah.

Anyway, these unrealistic ideals must be met. Otherwise, you're not a worthy member and you probably won't make it to the Celestial Kingdom (the top or 3rd tier of heaven)to live with God and Jesus. This will lead to you not being able to become gods yourself and create your own worlds that you and your wife will populate for eternity. Doesn't that sound great ladies? Being constantly pregnant for eternity? Woohoo! I bet you're thinking "Where do I sign up?!"

This is the bullshit that is pounded into your head from day one. Given that a majority of members were born into it, you can see just how deep this brainwashing goes. Now, of course the bar is always set too high, just out of reach. You gotta work for it, this ain't no free ride.

Eventually, human nature takes over. You've been suppressing natural feelings your whole life in order to do what you've been told to do and be what you've been told to be. This human nature becomes a beast. Sex, drugs, alcohol, caffiene - there's no such thing as moderation. You might as well be a member of Motley Crue. But,you have to hide it. Remember, every corner you turn is another reminder of who owns the state you live in, of who owns you.

You can no longer suppress it. You've reached a point of being sick and tired and fed up with having to hide the fact that you smoke cigarettes, or drink beer or like to have sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend even though the two of you aren't married. You know all of these things are perfectly normal in other states and aren't considered social taboos. But, you mustn't let people find out. The shame you will bring your family is too much.

So, you continue to struggle with yourself, to fight natural feelings. Unfortunately, nature always wins. But, because there was no moderation, only secrecy, you lose your damn mind and act out, commit crimes. Or maybe you go the other route. Maybe you can see what's happening and it scares you. You don't want to think about it, or know about it. you just want to live in this magical make believe land that your church has created for you.

What do you do? You go to the doctor and tell them you don't feel well, things don't make sense in your head. You can't function in everyday normal life. What does the doctor do? Writes you a prescription. Painkillers, Antidepressants, any narcotic that will keep you dopey enough to continue to be complacent and to not ask questions, but just do as your told. This will also keep that beast, human nature and curiosity, away as well.

So, can you now see why a place that is supposed to have picture perfect families and outstanding morales and values and the whole white picket fence American dream is so fucked up and needs to be high all the time?

To read the entire article, please click here